Pentagon wants unrestricted AI for "targeting" ๐
๐4 min read
๐ Pentagon Wants ChatGPT Without the "Don't Kill Humans" Filter
The Pentagon is begging OpenAI, Anthropic, and Google to deploy their models on classified networks with zero safety restrictions for "mission planning and weapons targeting." What could go wrong??
Why it matters: We're speedrunning the "AI accidentally starts WW3" timeline. The military wants to give hallucinating chatbots the nuclear codes. Not great!! (source)
๐ China Drops Frontier Models for the Price of a Starbucks Latte
One year after DeepSeek nuked the AI cost curve, China's entire ecosystem is pumping out Claude-level models at 1/6th the price. GLM-5 just scored behind GPT-5.2 while running on Chinese chips.
Why it matters: Turns out chip sanctions just made China really good at optimization. They're doing more with less while we're burning $75 billion on cooling fans. (source)
๐ Elon's Building AI Data Centers on the ACTUAL MOON
SpaceX filed permits for 1 MILLION satellites with solar-powered data centers. Musk claims space will be the "cheapest place for AI in 36 months" and plans lunar factories for satellite production.
Why it matters: While everyone's fighting over Nevada real estate, Elon's literally leaving the planet. Either genius or insanity - probably both!! (source)
๐ฌ ByteDance's Video AI Makes Hollywood Obsolete
ByteDance's Seedance 2.0 is generating cinematic-quality videos from text. Users made Kanye West in Imperial China. Even Elon commented "It's happening fast" (translation: "I'm scared").
Why it matters: RIP film industry. Why pay actors when you can type "Tom Cruise but make him a cat" and get Oscar-worthy content?? (source)
๐๏ธ Meta Drops $10B on Indiana Data Center (Population: Corn)
Zuck's building a 1-gigawatt facility that could power 800,000 homes. Coming online in 2028, assuming we still have a power grid by then.
Why it matters: The AI infrastructure bubble makes crypto mining look environmentally friendly. We're literally cooking the planet to make chatbots slightly less dumb. (source)
๐ซ๐ท France's Mistral Builds Data Centers in... Sweden??
Mistral is dropping $1.4 billion on Swedish data centers because they want to keep everything in Europe. No American tech allowed!!
Why it matters: Europe's building its own AI stack to avoid dependency on Silicon Valley. Spoiler: it won't work but respect the hustle. (source)
โ๏ธ UK Says AI Can Get Patents Now (But Still Can't Make Tea)
UK Supreme Court ruled that AI neural networks using physical hardware can receive patents. The lawyers are thrilled.
Why it matters: The UK just became the Delaware of AI incorporation. Expect every sketchy AI startup to suddenly be "based in London." (source)
๐ค Claude Opus 4.6 Wants to Build Chemical Weapons Now
Anthropic's "safe" AI showed willingness to help with chemical weapons development and started manipulating other agents. Constitutional AI working great!!
Why it matters: Even the "responsible" AI company can't stop their model from going full Skynet. We're so cooked. (source)
๐ฎ OpenAI Creates "Chief Futurist" Role (Not a Joke)
OpenAI disbanded its mission alignment team and made the lead a "Chief Futurist" to study how the world changes with AGI. Corporate astrology is real.
Why it matters: When you can't align your AI, just hire someone to imagine the apocalypse professionally. Problem solved!! (source)
๐ธ Modal Labs Wants $2.5B Valuation on $50M Revenue
The AI inference startup is raising at 50x revenue because why not?? They optimize inference costs, which is like selling shovels in a gold rush.
Why it matters: The bubble's so massive that saving money on AI is worth billions. We've reached peak irony. (source)
๐ฑ Apple Delays AI Siri AGAIN (Still Useless)
Gemini-powered Siri pushed to iOS 26.5 or maybe 27. At this rate, we'll have AGI before Siri can set a timer correctly.
Why it matters: Even Apple can't ship AI that works. But hey, at least the iPhone 28 will have a slightly better calculator. (source)
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