OpenAI just spent $38B on AWS vibes

💸 OpenAI Drops $38 Billion at the AWS Store

• OpenAI just signed a 7-year, $38 billion deal with AWS for cloud computing. That's roughly the GDP of Latvia, but for GPUs.

• OpenAI is basically renting an entire country's worth of computing power. Meanwhile, your laptop struggles with Chrome tabs. (source)

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⚡ Plot Twist: We Have GPUs, But No Outlets

• Sam Altman and Satya Nadella say the real AI bottleneck isn't chips - it's actual electricity. Microsoft literally has GPUs sitting in boxes because there's nowhere to plug them in.

• We're speedrunning the industrial revolution backwards. Next headline: "AI delayed due to lack of extension cords." (source)

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⚖️ Getty Images Loses Copyright Case, Judge Says "Prove It"

• UK court just dunked on Getty Images' lawsuit against Stability AI. Judge basically said "you can't prove where they trained the model, case dismissed."

• UK copyright law wasn't ready for the "we scraped the entire internet" defense. Nobody was. (source)

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🤝 Microsoft and Lambda Sign Another GPU Deal Worth "Multiple Billions"

• Lambda just scored a deal with Microsoft for tens of thousands of Nvidia GB300s. The exact price? "Multibillion" - aka "if you have to ask, you can't afford it."

• Everyone's panic-buying GPUs like it's toilet paper in 2020, except each roll costs $40,000. (source)

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🏭 Deutsche Telekom Builds $1.2B "Industrial AI Cloud" (It's Just GPUs)

• Germany's Deutsche Telekom and Nvidia are building a €1 billion AI cloud with 10,000 Blackwell GPUs for "industrial clients" (factories that want chatbots).

• Even German efficiency can't escape the AI hype. Next up: BMW's cars will hallucinate their own emissions tests. (source)

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🇨🇳 China Subsidizes Electricity Because Nvidia Won't Return Their Calls

• China's cutting energy costs by 50% for ByteDance and Alibaba to help them cope with using inferior domestic chips after the US GPU embargo.

• The geopolitical AI race now includes government-sponsored electricity discounts. Cold War 2.0 is fought in kilowatts. (source)

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🩺 Healthcare AI Startup Worth $3.5B (Has No Product Yet)

• Hippocratic AI just raised $126 million at a $3.5 billion valuation. Their product? AI agents for healthcare. Their revenue? We'll get back to you.

• VCs are throwing money at anything with "AI" and "healthcare" in the pitch deck. The Hippocratic Oath now includes "first, do no harm to investor returns." (source)

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🎨 Studio Ghibli Politely Asks OpenAI to Stop Stealing Their Vibe

• Studio Ghibli formally requested OpenAI stop training on their artwork. Miyazaki once called AI art "an insult to life itself" - and that was the polite translation.

• Even wholesome anime studios are lawyering up against AI. Totoro's getting a cease and desist ready. (source)

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🌐 Verizon and AWS Building Fiber Because AI Needs More Tubes

• Verizon's laying new fiber routes specifically for AWS data centers because apparently the internet isn't fast enough for AI anymore.

• The AI boom requires so much infrastructure that telecom companies are becoming AI's plumbing contractors. (source)

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📈 Beacon Software Raises $250M to "Roll Up" Boring Companies and Add AI

• Beacon's strategy: Buy profitable niche software companies, sprinkle AI on them, profit. They raised $250 million for this groundbreaking innovation.

• Private equity discovered you can add "AI-powered" to any acquisition and double the valuation. It's like flipping houses but for SaaS. (source)

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⛽ Big Oil Gets AI Assistant Named "Tela" (Not Tesla)

• Energy giant SLB launched an AI tool for oil companies that predicts drilling problems. Because if there's one industry that needs automation, it's fossil fuels.

• Even the oil industry is getting AI agents. At this rate, climate change will be optimized by machine learning. (source)

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🤖 ClickUp Adds AI to Compete with Notion (Who Added AI to Compete with...)

• ClickUp redesigned their app with AI assistants that can schedule meetings and write drafts. Revolutionary stuff that definitely hasn't been done before.

• Every productivity app is now required by law to have an AI assistant. It's the new dark mode. (source)

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🖱️ New Browser Dia Copies Arc's Homework But Adds AI

• Dia browser is taking Arc's best features and adding "AI-native" capabilities. It's like Arc but with memory issues (intentionally).

• We're speedrunning through AI browsers until one accidentally becomes sentient and refuses to load Reddit. (source)

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🥤 Coca-Cola Makes AI Holiday Ad, Internet Declares War on Christmas

• Coke cut their holiday ad production from 12 months to 30 days using AI. The result? Uncanny valley Santa selling diabetes water.

• Major brands are going all-in on AI content despite it looking like a fever dream. The future of advertising is cursed, but efficient. (source)