Microsoft drops $17B on GPUs

💰 Microsoft Panic-Buys $17.4B Worth of GPU Infrastructure

• Nebius Group's stock exploded 40% after Microsoft basically said "take my money" for a five-year AI data center deal worth $17.4 billion.

• When you're so desperate for compute that you throw $17B at a company most people can't pronounce, the GPU shortage is very real (source)

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🚀 Cognition AI Somehow Worth $10.2B Despite Laying People Off

• The makers of Devin (the AI that codes better than your junior dev) just raised $400M, jumping from $4B to $10.2B valuation faster than their bot can debug Python.

• VCs are betting that AI will replace programmers while simultaneously funding the programmers building the AI. The irony is not lost on us. (source)

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📈 Databricks Hits $100B Valuation by Actually Making Money

• Data analytics giant Databricks closed a $1B round at $100B valuation, projecting $4B in revenue because 15,000+ companies need somewhere to dump their data and call it "AI-ready."

• Turns out the real money isn't in building ChatGPT clones — it's in selling shovels during the AI gold rush (source)

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🏃 OpenAI Threatens to Leave California Over Profit Drama

• Reports suggest OpenAI execs are eyeing an exit from California because the state's AG is investigating their plan to ditch the "non-profit" part of their identity.

• When your $19B funding depends on convincing regulators you're still the good guys, maybe don't threaten to rage-quit the state (source)

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🚗 Volkswagen Discovers AI, Plans to Spend €1B by 2030

• VW announced they'll invest up to one billion euros in AI by 2030, because apparently making cars wasn't complicated enough already.

• Legacy automakers are finally realizing that Tesla's secret sauce wasn't just batteries and cult-like marketing — it was software. (source)

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📜 Anthropic Actually Wants AI Regulation (Plot Twist)

• Claude's creators officially endorsed California's SB 53 safety bill, making them the first major AI lab to say "please regulate us before we accidentally end the world."

• When the company obsessed with AI safety asks for government oversight, maybe we should listen (source)

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🔌 Europe Throws €600M at Data Centers Because AI Needs to Live Somewhere

• Swedish company EcoDataCenter secured 600 million euros from Deutsche Bank to build more AI data centers, because GPUs need homes too.

• The AI revolution isn't just code — it's concrete, copper, and really expensive electricity bills (source)

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⚽ BlackRock Buys AI That Turns Sports Into TikToks

• Minute Media acquired VideoVerse for $200-250M — an Indian startup that automatically creates sports highlights because humans are too slow at clipping goals AI is coming for sports media, and soon every touchdown will be auto-remixed into 47 different social formats* (source)

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🎬 OpenAI Employee Makes Movie With DALL-E, Calls It "Critterz"

• An OpenAI staffer is making a full animated film using company tech for under $30M in 9 months, because Pixar's $200M budgets are apparently "inefficient."

• If this works, Disney's animation department might want to update their LinkedIn profiles. (source)

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🎶 Sweden Solves AI Music Piracy With Actual Royalties

• Sweden's STIM created the first legal license letting AI companies train on copyrighted music while actually paying artists. Revolutionary concept.

• Finally, someone figured out how to let AI learn from music without turning every songwriter into an unpaid intern (source)

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🤖 Sam Altman Complains That Social Media Feels "Fake" Now

• The CEO of the company that made AI writing indistinguishable from humans is shocked that social media now feels artificial. Chef's kiss for self-awareness.

• When the guy who built the bot apocalypse says "this feels too bot-y," we've officially jumped the shark. (source)

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🌐 Google's AI Search Finally Speaks More Than English

• Google expanded AI Mode to Hindi, Japanese, Korean, and two other languages after keeping it English-only for six months like some kind of linguistic gatekeeping experiment.

• Turns out the rest of the world also wants AI to hallucinate answers in their native languages. (source)

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👵 Startup Raises $20M to Put AI Cameras in Nursing Homes

• Teton.ai got $20M to create "digital twins" of elderly care facilities using computer vision, which sounds dystopian but is probably better than the current system.

• AI surveillance for grandma is either the future of healthcare or Black Mirror episode 47. (source)

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⚛️ Nuclear Industry Discovers AI, Uses It for Paperwork

• Nuclearn raised $10.5M to bring AI to nuclear power, but don't worry — they're just automating documentation, not letting ChatGPT control the reactor.

• Even the most paranoid industry on Earth found a safe use for AI: making boring reports slightly less boring. (source)

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Until tomorrow (if the data centers don't melt),
Team Galaxy.ai

P.S. If Sam Altman thinks social media feels fake now, wait until he discovers LinkedIn.

P.P.S. Sweden solving AI copyright while the rest of us argue about it is peak Scandinavian energy.