Google's AI glasses are coming

💰 Someone Just Raised $475M for a "Seed" Round (I Can't Even)

• Ex-Databricks AI chief Naveen Rao just secured $475 MILLION at a $4.5B valuation for his startup Unconventional AI. For a SEED ROUND. Planning to raise $1B total because why not??

• VCs are literally throwing money at anyone who says "energy-efficient AI computer" and "as efficient as biology." The bubble isn't real if you don't look at it, right? (source)

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🏦 Banks Finally Admit the Quiet Part Out Loud

• JPMorgan and Wells Fargo report AI is doubling productivity. Wells Fargo CEO: "We're getting a lot more done" with same headcount. PNC hasn't hired in 10 YEARS despite tripling in size.

• Banks just speedran the "AI won't take jobs" to "actually yeah it will" pipeline. At least they're honest about it :/ (source)

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🤖 Anthropic Is Eating OpenAI's Enterprise Lunch

• Accenture's training 30,000 employees on Claude. Anthropic now has 40% enterprise market share (up from 32% this summer) and 54% dominance in coding.

• Claude is quietly becoming the actual enterprise AI while everyone's distracted by ChatGPT's consumer drama. Consulting firms choose boring winners. (source)

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👓 Google's AI Glasses Coming in 2026 (We Promise This Time)

• Google partnered with Warby Parker and Gentle Monster for Android XR glasses. Options range from "Gemini whispers in your ear" to "full AR display."

• Google Glass died so Android XR could... probably also die?? But hey, third time's the charm! Meta's shaking rn (not really). (source)

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🔮 Oracle Bet Everything on OpenAI and Now We Wait

• Oracle has a $300 BILLION contract with OpenAI. Their credit default swaps just hit RECORD HIGHS. All eggs, one basket, what could go wrong??

• If OpenAI fails, Oracle becomes the world's most expensive data center graveyard. Larry Ellison's either a genius or about to learn what "counterparty risk" means. (source)

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💸 Amazon Drops $35B on India, Everyone Else Panics

• Amazon pledging $35 billion by 2030 for Indian AI/cloud. Microsoft already promised $17.5B, Google $15B. It's a spending war and India's winning.

• Tech giants treating India like the last unclaimed territory in Risk. Whoever wins gets a billion users and sooo much data. (source)

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🏥 Microsoft Made Cancer Research Cost $5 Instead of Thousands

• Their GigaTIME model turns routine pathology slides into protein maps for $5-10 (used to cost thousands). Found 1,234 new clinical associations from 14,256 patients.

• FINALLY!! AI doing something useful instead of generating anime waifus. This could actually save lives (wild concept). (source)

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🔍 EU Investigates Google for... Checks Notes... Using the Internet

• European Commission mad that Google uses website content for AI summaries "without compensation." Also blocking rivals from YouTube data.

• EU about to make Google pay for every snippet it reads. RIP AI Overviews in Europe (nobody will miss them). (source)

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🎖️ Pentagon Launches GenAI.mil (Yes That's Real)

• US military deploying Google's Gemini for Government to all installations worldwide. Every cleared person gets AI access.

• The military-industrial complex just got an AI upgrade. Nothing says "national security" like trusting Google with defense secrets 🫡 (source)

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📱 30% of US Teens Use AI Chatbots Daily (Uh Oh)

• Pew Research: ChatGPT dominates with 59% usage. Multiple lawsuits already linking chatbots to teen suicides.

• Gen Alpha's best friend is a hallucinating language model. This definitely won't have any psychological consequences!! (It will.) (source)

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🔐 China Already Has Nvidia's H200s Despite Ban

• Chinese universities and military entities accessing H200 chips through grey markets. Building a 20,000-petaflop hub in Xinjiang with 8,000 GPUs.

• Export controls working about as well as "please don't pirate this movie" warnings. Shocking absolutely nobody. (source)

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🏢 Linux Foundation: "Let's Make AI Agents Interoperable"

• New Agentic AI Foundation includes OpenAI, Anthropic, Google, AWS. Donating protocols like MCP and AGENTS.md for "open standards."

• Big Tech pinky-promising to play nice with AI agents. This has never gone wrong before!! (Narrator: It always goes wrong.) (source)

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💻 Mistral Launches 123B Parameter Model, Needs 4 GPUs

• French startup Mistral released Devstral 2. Also launching "Mistral Vibe" CLI for natural language coding.

• Europe's still trying to compete in AI. Requiring 4 H100s just to run means only rich kids can play :( (source)

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🚗 Rivian Building Its Own AI Because Why Not

• Spent two years on in-house AI assistant separate from VW partnership. Hybrid edge/cloud approach.

• Every car company thinks they're a software company now. Rivian's about to learn why Tesla's FSD is still in "beta" after a decade. (source)

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📊 AI Stocks Now 40% of S&P 500 (This Is Fine)

• AI theme drove 20% world stock gains this year. 10 AI megacaps = 40% of S&P 500. Analysts warning about "asset-heavy" valuations.

• The entire stock market is basically a bet on whether ChatGPT can actually do your job. No pressure!! (source)

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🌍 Blackstone CEO: "We Need to Double the Power Grid"

• At Abu Dhabi Finance Week, Schwarzman warned AI needs 2x current electricity. Franklin Templeton CEO compared it to gold rush era.

• Even the money guys are like "this might be unsustainable??" But also they're still investing because FOMO > logic. (source)