Google just broke the AI leaderboard (again)

🧠 Google's Deep Think Just Made Everyone Else Look Stupid

• Google's Gemini 3 Deep Think hit 84.6% on ARC-AGI-2 (Opus got 68.8%, GPT-5.2 got 52.9% 💀) and scored gold medals on Physics & Chemistry Olympiads. They also dropped Aletheia, a math agent that autonomously solves open problems.

• Why it matters: Google just reminded everyone they invented transformers. The "is Google dead?" crowd looking reaaaal quiet rn. (source)

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💰 Anthropic Raises $30B, Now Worth More Than Most Countries

• Anthropic secured $30 BILLION (yes, with a B) at a $380B valuation. Revenue run rate? $14 billion. Claude Code alone brings in $2.5 billion. Eight of the Fortune 10 are customers now.

• Why it matters: This valuation is INSANE - they're worth more than Nike, Coca-Cola, and Disney COMBINED. The AI bubble isn't popping... it's going supernova. (source)

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⚡ OpenAI Launches Speed-Mode on Not-Nvidia Chips (Finally)

• OpenAI's new GPT-5.3-Codex-Spark cranks out 1,000+ tokens per second on Cerebras chips. It's dumber but FAST - part of their $10B+ Cerebras deal to escape Nvidia's monopoly.

• Why it matters: OpenAI finally realized putting all your eggs in Jensen's leather jacket isn't sustainable. Chip wars are sooo back. (source)

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📉 Software Stocks Get Absolutely REKT by AI Fear

• Software stocks tanked 15% since January. Microsoft down 16% YTD, Amazon down 11%. Investors realized AI might actually... replace software companies?? Wild.

• Why it matters: The "AI lifts all boats" narrative just died. Now it's winners and losers - and legacy software is looking like Blockbuster circa 2010. (source)

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🚗 Waymo Paying Humans to... Close Doors

• Waymo - the "$16 billion self-driving revolution" - is paying DoorDash drivers $6-11 to close car doors. The robots literally can't move if a door's open. I'm SCREAMING.

• Why it matters: We're building AGI but can't figure out doors. This is peak 2026 energy. (source)

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🏃 Half of xAI's Founders Just Rage-Quit

• Six of xAI's 12 co-founders bounced. Elon says it was "reorganization for speed" (sure Jan). At least 10 engineers left in a week to start their own ventures.

• Why it matters: Losing HALF your founding team is... not great!! Grok's having safety issues and now the builders are fleeing. Totally normal, nothing to see here. (source)

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🇹🇼 Taiwan's GDP Goes Parabolic on AI Chip Demand

• Taiwan's 2026 GDP forecast jumped to 7.71% (from 3.54%). Exports up 22.22%. Why? Everyone needs TSMC's chips for their AI fever dreams.

• Why it matters: Taiwan's economy is basically an AI adoption index. These numbers suggest the bubble has wayyy more room to run. (source)

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💸 Microsoft's AI Chief: "Your Job Dies in 18 Months"

• Mustafa Suleyman told FT that most white-collar work will be "fully automated within 12-18 months". Microsoft pursuing "true self-sufficiency" (aka ditching OpenAI).

• Why it matters: Either we're 18 months from economic apocalypse OR tech CEOs are still terrible at predictions. Place your bets!! (source)

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🔬 Applied Materials Stock Goes BRRRR on AI Equipment

• Applied Materials forecast $7.65B revenue (vs $7.01B expected), stock jumped 12%. Everyone needs their chip-making equipment for the AI gold rush.

• Why it matters: The pick-and-shovel plays always win. Selling shovels during a gold rush >>> mining for gold. (source)

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🚪 OpenAI Kills GPT-4o Despite Users Begging Them Not To

• OpenAI's retiring GPT-4o today even though users prefer its "warmth and personality". Only 0.1% still use it daily but they're LOUD about it.

• Why it matters: Some people don't want the smartest AI - they want the one that vibes. OpenAI: "Best we can do is more intelligence." (source)

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🏢 Capgemini Successfully Pivots to "AI Company" (Somehow)

• French IT giant hit €22.47B revenue with 3.4% growth. Gen AI now 10% of bookings (up from 5%). They're actually making the pivot work??

• Why it matters: Even boring consulting firms are printing money on AI. If Capgemini can do it, your startup has no excuse. (source)

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💊 Bryan Johnson Charging $1M/Year for "Immortality"

• Longevity influencer Bryan Johnson wants $1 MILLION annually for his "Immortals" program. You get "BryanAI 24/7" and his anti-aging protocol. Only 3 spots!!

• Why it matters: Rich people spending $1M to maybe live longer while we can't afford healthcare. Very normal, very cool. (source)

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🎯 Pinterest: "We Have More Searches Than ChatGPT!" (Stock Still Tanks)

• Pinterest CEO claimed 80B monthly searches vs ChatGPT's 75B after missing earnings. Stock dropped 20% anyway. Nice try though!!

• Why it matters: Everyone's desperately rebranding as "AI companies" but investors aren't buying it. Pinterest search ≠ AGI, bestie. (source)

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🇨🇳 Chinese Lab Drops Opus-Level Model at 95% Discount

• MiniMax's M2.5 rivals Opus/GPT-5 but costs $1.20/M output vs Opus's $25/M. It handles 30% of their daily tasks and 80% of code commits.

• Why it matters: China's not just catching up - they're undercutting by 95%. The price war is about to get UGLY. (source)

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🏛️ Anthropic Drops $20M on Pro-Regulation Politics

• Anthropic backing Public First Action with $20 million for candidates who want AI regulation. OpenAI backing the opposite side. Choose your fighter!!

• Why it matters: The AI lobbying wars have begun. These companies are literally buying politicians to decide if robots get rights. (source)

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🚗 Eclipse Backs "AI-Native" EV Marketplace with $31M

• Ever raised $31M for its EV marketplace using "agentic AI" for transactions. Claims 2-3x productivity vs humans. Sure, Jan.

• Why it matters: AI's moving from chatbots to actually running operations. Your car salesman might be a bot soon (improvement?? 🤔). (source)

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📰 OpenAI Researcher Rage-Quits Over ChatGPT Ads

• Zoë Hitzig resigned after OpenAI launched ads, warning of "unprecedented manipulation potential". Says they're following Facebook's path to evil.

• Why it matters: First major resignation over ads. The "don't be evil" → "be profitable" pipeline remains undefeated. (source)

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🏭 Nebius Spends $2.1B on GPUs, Hopes for the Best

• AI cloud firm Nebius dropped $2.1 BILLION on capex in Q4 (up from $416M). Expecting $7-9B revenue by end of 2026. Math checks out... right??

• Why it matters: The capital requirements are ASTRONOMICAL. Companies betting billions that this isn't just Crypto 2.0. (source)

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🎯 Didero Gets $30M to Put Procurement on "Autopilot"

• Didero raised $30M to automate manufacturing procurement with AI. It reads emails and automatically executes tasks. What could go wrong??

• Why it matters: B2B AI is having its moment - automating the boring stuff that actually runs the economy. Unsexy but profitable. (source)

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Until Monday (unless the AGI arrives first), The AI Snacks Team

P.S. If Google's model is this good, why is Gemini Advanced still recommending glue on pizza? Asking for a friend.