Google drops $185B on AI while Anthropic starts a Super Bowl war

💸 Google Drops $185B, Makes Meta Look Broke

• Alphabet's doubling its capital spending to $175-185 BILLION in 2026 - that's 50% more than Meta's "aggressive" forecast. Gemini app hit 750M+ users and Cloud revenue is up 48%.

• Why it matters: Google went from "we missed the AI boat" to "we're buying the entire ocean". Wall Street's so hyped they're comparing Google's valuation to NVIDIA now. The spending wars just went nuclear ☢️ (source)

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🥊 Anthropic vs OpenAI: The Pettiest Super Bowl Ever

• Anthropic dropped Super Bowl ads mocking AI chatbots with ads, promising Claude stays ad-free forever. Sam Altman clapped back calling it "clearly dishonest" and said Anthropic makes "expensive products for rich people" 💀

• Why it matters: The AI titans are literally fighting over Super Bowl commercials ABOUT commercials. This is peak 2026 energy. Also reveals the real question: will AI be free with ads or expensive without them?? (source)

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📉 Wall Street Has a Meltdown Over Anthropic's New Tools

• Software stocks CRASHED after Anthropic showed tools that automate everything. RELX down 14%, Thomson Reuters fell 16%. Jensen Huang called the selloff "illogical" (translation: y'all are being dramatic).

• Why it matters: Traders are speed-running the "AI will replace us all" panic. But plot twist - companies with actual data might get stronger, not weaker. The market's having an existential crisis in real-time. (source)

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🎬 Amazon Launches "AI Studio" to Disrupt Hollywood

• Amazon MGM is building AI tools to speed up movie/TV production, launching closed beta in March. They swear it'll keep "humans in control" at every step (sure, Jan).

• Why it matters: Hollywood budgets are so bloated that even Amazon thinks AI is the solution. Emily Blunt's worried about job security, but honestly, have you seen the last 5 Marvel movies?? AI might be an upgrade. (source)

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💰 ElevenLabs Raises $500M, Everyone Else Raises Everything

• ElevenLabs hit $11B valuation (3x in one year!!), Cerebras got $1B at $23B, Resolve AI became a unicorn. A16z allocated $1.7B just for AI infrastructure.

• Why it matters: Despite the market having daily panic attacks, VCs are still throwing money at AI like it's 2021 again. The bubble's not popping - it's inflating FASTER. (source)

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🤖 Alexa+ Goes Nationwide, Prime Members Get It Free

• AI-powered Alexa+ now available to all U.S. customers. Free with Prime, $19.99 otherwise. Users having 2-3x more conversations, recipe usage up 5x (we're all just lonely, aren't we?).

• Why it matters: Amazon's bundling AI with Prime to create a moat against ChatGPT. Smart move or desperate play?? Time will tell. (source)

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🚨 China: "That Viral AI Agent Will Probably Hack You"

• Chinese Ministry warns OpenClaw has "significant security risks" when misconfigured. Major flaw found in Moltbook social network exposing thousands of users' data.

• Why it matters: Open-source AI agents are going viral AND they're full of security holes. What could possibly go wrong?? (Everything. Everything could go wrong.) (source)

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🔒 Tech Boards Failing AI Ethics So Hard It's Embarrassing

• Only 38% of major tech companies publish AI ethics principles. ZERO disclosed human rights impact assessments. Transparency actually got WORSE in 2025.

• Why it matters: EU regulations hit in August. Companies ignoring governance now will get absolutely wrecked by compliance later. Popcorn ready 🍿 (source)

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🎮 Roblox's "4D Creation" Lets Kids Build Physics-Enabled Worlds

• New AI generates complete, interactive 3D models with working physics from text prompts. 150M+ daily users can now build games without coding.

• Why it matters: Every 12-year-old is about to become a game developer. The metaverse is being built by middle schoolers. This is fine. Everything is fine. (source)

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💔 Tinder's AI "Chemistry" Feature: Because Algorithms Understand Love

• New AI analyzes your camera roll and asks questions to deliver "a single drop or two" of matches instead of endless swiping. Testing in Australia only (they're the guinea pigs).

• Why it matters: Dating apps are so broken they're literally using AI to stop you from using the app. Peak late-stage capitalism vibes. (source)

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🏈 Super Bowl Deploys "Cyber Command Center" for AI Threats

• NFL set up dedicated center at Levi's Stadium watching for AI-powered attacks. Stadium has 1,500 Wi-Fi 7 routers for 35+ terabytes of fan uploads.

• Why it matters: We've reached the point where the Super Bowl needs military-grade cyber defense against AI. The future is exhausting. (source)

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Quick Hits That Didn't Make Me Question Reality (Much)

• Kling 3.0: Chinese startup unified all video generation with native audio and voice cloning. Western competitors in shambles.
• PaperBanana: AI agents auto-generate academic diagrams that beat humans 56% of the time. Scientists can finally stop pretending they know PowerPoint.
• Fibr AI: Raised $5.7M to personalize every website for every visitor. Because generic experiences are sooo 2025.

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