Anthropic raises $13B at $183B valuation

💰 Anthropic Just Became Richer Than Most Countries

• Claude's parent company raised $13 billion at a $183 billion valuation. Their revenue jumped from $1B to $5B this year because apparently everyone wants to pay for polite AI.

• The AI arms race just got a new final boss. Anthropic is now officially too big to fail — and too expensive for anyone else to catch up. (source)

---

🏛️ Microsoft Convinces Uncle Sam That AI Won't Destroy Democracy

• Microsoft inked a massive deal to give millions of federal workers access to Copilot. The government expects $3 billion in savings, which is optimistic for people who brought you healthcare.gov.

• Your tax returns might soon be processed by the same AI that hallucinates recipes. What could go wrong? (source)

---

🤝 OpenAI Drops $1.1B on a Startup You've Never Heard Of

• OpenAI bought Statsig for $1.1 billion in stock, plus reshuffled their entire leadership team. Apparently they needed better A/B testing to figure out why ChatGPT keeps getting dumber.

• When you're burning through billions, buying a testing company makes sense. It's like hiring a food critic after you've already poisoned half the restaurant. (source)

---

⚖️ Judge Forces Google to Share Its Homework

• A federal court ordered Google to share search data with AI competitors like Perplexity and Claude. Google's 25-year monopoly just got its first real challenge.

• The search wars are about to get spicy. Finally, someone else gets to see what "I'm feeling lucky" actually does. (source)

---

📉 Tesla Admits Dojo Was Just an Expensive Space Heater

• After years of hype, Tesla shut down its custom AI supercomputer project and called it an "evolutionary dead end." They're now paying Samsung $16.5 billion to do what they couldn't.

• Even Elon can't will custom silicon into existence. Sometimes buying off-the-shelf chips is better than reinventing the semiconductor. (source)

---

💳 PayPal Becomes Perplexity's Sugar Daddy

• PayPal users get free access to Perplexity's new AI browser "Comet" plus a year of Pro. It's like getting a free Netflix subscription, but for search results that might be wrong.

• 430 million PayPal users just became guinea pigs for AI‑powered browsing. Your Venmo payments now come with a side of hallucinated facts. (source)

---

🛡️ ID.me Raises $340M to Fight AI Scammers with More AI

• The identity verification company hit a $2 billion valuation by promising to stop AI fraud. It's AI all the way down, folks.

• We're officially in an AI arms race between scammers and security. May the best algorithm win. (source)

---

🚚 Freight Robots Get $44M to Negotiate Truck Deals

• HappyRobot raised $44 million to automate freight logistics. Their AI agents handle rate negotiations, which explains why shipping costs keep going up.

• Even truck drivers are getting replaced by chatbots. Soon your Amazon package will be negotiated, shipped, and delivered entirely by robots. (source)

---

🏭 AI Spending Saves US Manufacturing (Barely)

• While manufacturing tanked for six months straight, AI investment kept the lights on. Companies are betting their future on algorithms instead of actual products.

• We're not making things anymore — we're just making the robots that will eventually make things. (source)

---

🇦🇺 Australia's Central Bank Discovers AI Exists

• The Reserve Bank of Australia is "exploring" how AI might affect the economy. Welcome to 2023, guys.

• Central bankers are finally realizing that robots might impact employment. Only took them a few years to catch up. (source)

---

🤖 Tesla's New Master Plan Reads Like ChatGPT Output

• Tesla's fourth "Master Plan" is so vague and generic that people think it was AI‑generated. The irony is chef's kiss.

• When your robotics company can't write better than a language model, maybe stick to making cars. (source)

---

♨️ Geothermal Energy Becomes the New Crypto Mining

• Startups like Fervo Energy are drilling holes in the ground to power AI data centers. It's renewable, reliable, and doesn't require burning coal to train ChatGPT.

• AI's energy problem finally has a solution that doesn't involve melting the polar ice caps. Progress! (source)

---

🎤 Google's Moonshot Guy Will Explain Why Everything Failed

• Astro Teller from Alphabet's X lab is speaking at TechCrunch Disrupt. He'll probably talk about all the cool projects they killed.

• Someone needs to explain what happened to Google Glass and why we still don't have flying cars. (source)

---

Until tomorrow (if the data centers don't melt),
Team Galaxy.ai

P.S. If a federal AI agent audits your taxes, just remember: it's probably running on the same technology that thinks glue belongs on pizza.

P.P.S. Tesla's Dojo shutdown proves that sometimes the real supercomputer was the friends we made along the way.