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AMD scores OpenAI mega-deal

Galaxy Editorial Team
Galaxy Editorial Team
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📖4 min read

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Table of contents

💍 AMD Steals OpenAI from Nvidia's Arms

  • AMD just secured a "transformative" chip deal with OpenAI worth tens of billions. OpenAI even gets to buy 10% of AMD for pocket change.

  • Why it matters: Nvidia's monopoly just got NTR'd. OpenAI basically said "we need a backup boyfriend" and AMD was waiting in the DMs. (source)

💸 AI Startups Inhale 46% of All VC Money

  • Anthropic alone raised $13 BILLION last quarter. That's more than most countries' GDP. AI companies are basically printing money requests.

  • Why it matters: The bubble isn't popping - it's inflating faster than Sam Altman's promises about AGI. (source)

🧑‍💻 Anthropic Hires Stripe's CTO (Not from IIT)

  • Rahul Patil jumps from Stripe to Anthropic as CTO. The blog post made sure to mention he didn't go to IIT, which is... oddly specific.

  • Why it matters: Anthropic is collecting ex-FAANG CTOs like Pokémon cards. The AI talent war just became a hostile takeover. (source)

  • OpenAI's video generator will now let creators control their characters and share revenue. Translation: "Please don't sue us, Disney."

  • Why it matters: OpenAI discovered that stealing everyone's content isn't a sustainable business model. Revolutionary. (source)

💰 OpenAI Buys Finance App, Wants to Be Your Life Coach

  • OpenAI acqui-hired a personal finance app CEO because apparently ChatGPT needs to manage your 401k now.

  • Why it matters: They're not building AGI - they're building a digital helicopter parent that knows your spending habits. (source)

🎨 Perplexity Eats Visual Electric

  • The AI search engine bought an image generation tool and immediately killed it. Classic Silicon Valley romance.

  • Why it matters: Perplexity wants to be Google + DALL-E + your therapist. The everything app strategy never fails, right? (source)

📈 Wall Street Gets High on AI Deals

  • Stock futures are up because investors saw "AI" mentioned 47 times in earnings calls and immediately hit buy.

  • Why it matters: The market is so AI-pilled that mentioning machine learning adds 5% to your stock price. (source)

📜 California Passes AI Law That Doesn't Suck

  • SB 53 requires AI labs to be transparent about safety without killing innovation. Miraculously, both sides agreed.

  • Why it matters: California managed to regulate AI without causing a tech exodus. Hell has officially frozen over. (source)

⚡ French Firm Buys Irish Power Company for AI's Thirst

  • Ardian dropped 2.5 billion euros on an Irish utility because data centers need more juice than a CrossFit gym.

  • Why it matters: AI's electricity addiction is so bad that energy companies are the new gold rush. (source)

📱 Jony Ive's AI Device Can't Find Its Personality

  • The OpenAI x Jony Ive collab is struggling with making an "always-on" device that isn't annoying. Shocking.

  • Why it matters: Even Apple's design god can't figure out how to make AI hardware that people actually want. (source)

🩺 AI Medical Scribe Raises $65M to Save Doctors from Paperwork

  • Heidi Health got funded to let AI handle medical notes so doctors can actually practice medicine.

  • Why it matters: Finally, AI solving real problems instead of generating anime waifus and stock photos. (source)

🧠 AI Makes Wall Street Quant Trading Accessible to Plebs

  • WorldQuant's trading competition doubled to 80,000 participants because ChatGPT can now write your algo-trading scripts.

  • Why it matters: The finance bros' gatekeeping just got demolished by copy-paste coders with API keys. (source)

🚗 Chinese Self-Driving Companies Invade Europe

  • Blocked from the U.S., Chinese autonomous vehicle firms are speed-running European expansion with cheaper tech.

  • Why it matters: Europe's about to get the Shein treatment but for self-driving cars. (source)

🏎️ Toyota Throws $1.5B at Startups, Hopes Something Sticks

  • The Japanese auto giant is panic-investing in startups through a new subsidiary because innovation by committee wasn't working.

  • Why it matters: Legacy automakers are so scared of Tesla they're literally buying innovation wholesale. (source)

🛡️ New App Uses AI to Babysit Your Kids Online

  • Young Minds promises to protect children from the internet while educating them about risks. Good luck with that.

  • Why it matters: Parents outsourcing parenting to AI - what could possibly go wrong? (source)

Until tomorrow (unless the grid collapses),
Team Galaxy.ai

P.S. If you're reading this, you survived another day of the AI apocalypse. Congrats.

P.P.S. AMD getting OpenAI is like your ex dating your rival. Nvidia's probably in therapy right now.