Amazon drops $10B on OpenAI (they're so back)

💸 Amazon Writes OpenAI a $10 BILLION Check

• Amazon's reportedly dropping $10 BILLION on OpenAI, valuing them at $500 billion (half a TRILLION dollars btw). The deal includes OpenAI using Amazon's Trainium chips - because nothing says "independence" like circular dependency deals.

• OpenAI just proved they can play every tech giant like a fiddle. Microsoft in shambles rn. (source)

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📈 Databricks Raises $4B, Worth More Than Most Countries

• The data company nobody understands just raised $4 billion at $134B valuation - up 34% in THREE MONTHS. They're making $1B+ from AI products including something called "Agent Bricks" (I can't-)

• Investors are throwing money at ANYTHING with "AI infrastructure" in the pitch deck. The bubble's bubbling, bestie. (source)

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🚀 Chinese AI Chip Stock Goes Up 700% (Not a Typo)

• MetaX Integrated Circuits JUMPED 700% on its Shanghai debut. Founded by ex-AMD execs, it was 4,000x oversubscribed despite having... 1% market share??

• China's building its own Nvidia at home and investors are going absolutely feral. This is either genius or the frothiest froth that ever frothed. (source)

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☢️ Tech Bros Discover Nuclear Power (For AI, Obviously)

• Boston Consulting Group says U.S. data centers face an 80GW power shortfall by 2030. Solution? NUCLEAR REACTORS. TerraPower and Kairos Power are building SMRs because of course they are.

• AI's energy demands are so insane, companies are literally considering space-based data centers. Green energy commitments? Never heard of her. (source)

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💻 Chip Equipment Sales Hit $135B Because AI Go Brrrrr

• Global chipmaking equipment sales rising to $135 billion by 2027. China, Taiwan, and South Korea buying everything despite [gestures at geopolitics].

• The entire planet is panic-buying chip equipment like it's toilet paper in 2020. ASML executives can't stop giggling. (source)

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🔓 Open-Source RISC-V Chips Enter the Chat

• RISC-V (open-source chip architecture) is gaining traction as the "geopolitically neutral" alternative to Intel/ARM. China's ALL IN. Market could hit $260 billion by 2030.

• The chip duopoly might actually get disrupted by... checks notes... open source?? Linux vibes but for silicon. (source)

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🌍 OpenAI Hires UK's Former Finance Minister (???)

• George Osborne will lead OpenAI's "OpenAI for Countries" initiative, helping governments develop "national AI strategies" and expand the $500B Stargate project globally.

• AI is now literal geopolitics. Countries treating ChatGPT infrastructure like nuclear arsenals. Normal stuff!! (source)

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🇮🇳 Google and OpenAI Fight Over India's 730 Million Users

• ChatGPT users in India surged 607% to 73 million after OpenAI made premium free. Google countered by giving $400 Gemini Pro subscriptions FREE for 18 months to 500M users.

• Tech giants using India as a massive AI training ground, harvesting multilingual data while creating dependency through aggressive freebies. Colonialism 2.0 but make it ✨digital✨ (source)

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🏦 UK Banks Let AI Control Your Money (WCGW?)

• NatWest, Lloyds, and Starling testing AI that can autonomously move your money between accounts. The Financial Conduct Authority: "This could accelerate bank runs" 😬

• Britain's speedrunning the AI financial crisis. Multiple AI agents interacting simultaneously?? This definitely ends well. (source)

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🤖 MIT and Google: "More AI Agents = Worse Performance"

• Research found adding more AI agents made Minecraft tasks 70% WORSE. Financial analysis improved 81% with multiple agents, but reasoning tasks? Single agent wins.

• The entire "agentic AI" hype train just got scientifically dunked on. Companies burning cash on complex systems when one good bot works better lmaoooo (source)

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🔬 OpenAI's New Benchmark: Can AI Do PhD Research?

• FrontierScience benchmark has 700+ PhD-level questions. GPT-5.2 scored 77% on structured problems but only 25% on creative research. Oof.

• AI can speed up workflows but can't actually think creatively yet. Your PhD is safe (for now). (source)

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🎨 OpenAI Launches GPT Image 1.5 After Sam's "Code Red"

• New model is 4x faster with better editing after CEO Sam Altman literally sent a "code red" memo about losing to Google's viral Nano Banana Pro (yes that's real).

• The image generation war is getting desperate. OpenAI scrambling to stay relevant while Google memes its way to victory. (source)

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🕶️ Meta's Smart Glasses Now Amplify Conversations

• Ray-Ban Meta glasses will enhance voices in noisy environments and play Spotify music matching what you're looking at (dystopian but convenient??).

• Smart glasses evolving from "creepy surveillance device" to actually useful accessibility tool. Character development!! (source)

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📧 Google's New AI Assistant Lives in Your Email

• CC sends daily "Your Day Ahead" emails summarizing tasks and calendar events. You reply to it like a person. It's Gemini pretending to be your secretary.

• Google betting that email is still the killer app for AI. Meeting you where you already waste 3 hours daily. (source)

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🍕 DoorDash Makes Zesty, an AI Restaurant Discovery App

• Ask for "low-key dinner in Williamsburg that's actually good for introverts" and it aggregates DoorDash, Google Maps, and TikTok data. Because we needed MORE apps.

• DoorDash branching beyond delivery into... being Google?? Everyone's trying to be everything now. The convergence is converging. (source)

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