πͺ Jack Dorsey just fired 4,000 humans for AI
π6 min read
πͺ Jack Dorsey Deletes 4,000 Humans, Stock Goes BRRR
Block is yeeting 50% of its workforce (4,000+ jobs) because Dorsey thinks "a significantly smaller team using AI can do more and do it better." Stock up 25% after-hours.
Why it matters: This is the "seminal moment" analysts warned about - when AI stops being hype and starts being actual mass unemployment. Other CEOs taking notes rn π (source)
π° Meta Rents Google's Chips Because Nvidia Said "New Phone Who Dis"
Zuck just signed a multi-year deal to rent Google's TPUs for AI training. This is ON TOP of his $60 billion AMD deal. Brother is collecting chips like PokΓ©mon cards.
Why it matters: The AI chip wars are so desperate that arch-rivals are sharing hardware. It's like Batman borrowing the Joker's car because the Batmobile is sold out. (source)
π Indian IT Stocks Get Absolutely REKT (-19.5%)
India's IT index posted its worst month since 2008, losing $62.8 billion in market cap. Why?? US companies showed off their AI automation and investors went "oh no, we don't need outsourcing anymore" π¬
Why it matters: Traditional IT services are getting disrupted HARD. Turns out "have you tried turning it off and on again" doesn't work when the AI never crashes. (source)
π» Dell's AI Server Revenue Goes 2X Mode
Dell expects AI server revenue to DOUBLE to $50 billion next year. They have 4,000+ customers including Elon's xAI. Also announced a 20% dividend hike because why not.
Why it matters: Big Tech is spending $630 BILLION on AI infrastructure this year. Dell's just standing there with a shopping cart like ππ° (source)
π Hyundai Drops $6.3B on AI Data Center (Not Cars??)
Hyundai Motor Group is spending 9 trillion won ($6.3B) to build an AI data center with 50,000 GPUs in South Korea. Also includes robot factories and... hydrogen production?? Sure why not.
Why it matters: Even car companies are pivoting to AI infrastructure. Next up: McDonald's announces plans for a quantum computer farm. (source)
π¬π§ OpenAI Makes London Its Biggest Non-US Hub
ChatGPT maker OpenAI declared London will be its largest research hub outside the US. Britain desperately trying to brand itself as an "AI superpower" (cute).
Why it matters: The global AI talent war continues. Countries literally competing over who gets to host the robots that will replace us all. (source)
π€ Cursor Agents Can Now Control Their Own Computers (!!!)
Cursor launched cloud agents with their own VMs that can build, test, and validate code autonomously. Over 30% of their internal PRs are now created by agents. The agents have better commit messages than humans.
Why it matters: We've reached peak AI autonomy - agents don't just write code, they ship it themselves. Your job is safe though... right?? RIGHT?? (source)
π€ Mistral Partners with Accenture (The Consultants Strike Back)
French AI lab Mistral AI signed a multiyear deal with Accenture to crack enterprise markets. Following OpenAI and Anthropic's playbook exactly.
Why it matters: AI companies need consultants to translate "AGI hype" into "corporate PowerPoints". Someone has to explain to boomers why the computer is talking now. (source)
πΌ Trace Raises $3M to Make AI Agents Less Dumb in Offices
Y Combinator startup Trace raised $3 million to help AI agents understand corporate environments. Basically teaching robots how to navigate office politics.
Why it matters: Turns out context is everything - AI agents need to understand Karen from accounting's workflow before they can replace her. (source)
ποΈ Pentagon Mad at Anthropic for Having Ethics
Anthropic's CEO rejected the Pentagon's "final offer" to remove Claude's safety guardrails. Pentagon: "Pretty please?" Anthropic: "No π "
Why it matters: The military-AI relationship status: It's complicated. Some companies still pretending they have morals (adorable). (source)
πΌοΈ Google's Nano Banana 2 Beats Everyone at Making Pictures
Google's Nano Banana 2 (yes that's the real name) just took the #1 text-to-image spot. At 7 cents per image, it's half the price with 4K resolution.
Why it matters: Image generation is a race to the bottom - better quality, lower prices, weirder model names. Capitalism is beautiful. (source)
π¨ QuiverAI Dominates SVGs, Designers Nervous
QuiverAI's Arrow 1.0 hit #1 on Design Arena's leaderboard ONE DAY after launch. It specializes in scalable vector graphics (the format your designer pretends is complicated).
Why it matters: Specialized AI is coming for every niche. Even the weird file formats nobody understands are getting automated. (source)
π§ͺ Nous Research Open-Sources Another Thing Nobody Will Use
Nous released Hermes Agent - an open-source agent for Telegram/Slack/Discord. It "learns and builds reusable skills over time" (so it's basically a junior developer).
Why it matters: Open-source AI agents are getting scary good. Also free. Your company's "proprietary chatbot" is shaking rn. (source)
π Read AI Creates Your "Digital Twin" (For Meetings You Skip)
Read AI launched "Ada" - an AI assistant that manages your schedule and answers questions while you're AFK. It's literally you, but productive.
Why it matters: Personal AI assistants are evolving from "schedule this meeting" to "pretend to be me in this meeting." The dream. (source)
π¨ Figma + OpenAI = Designers Writing Code (Apocalypse Confirmed)
Figma integrated OpenAI's Codex, letting designers create designs from code. Codex hit 1 million downloads in week one.
Why it matters: The design-code barrier is GONE. Designers can code, developers can design, cats and dogs living together, mass hysteria. (source)
π Burger King's AI Will Judge If You Said "Please"
BK launching AI "Patty" that lives in employee headsets, tracking if workers say "please" and "thank you." It reports to managers. Dystopia has a name and it's Patty.
Why it matters: AI workplace surveillance is here and it's wearing a paper crown. "Would you like fries with your performance review?" (source)
π Bumble's AI Will Fix Your Trash Dating Profile
Bumble added AI feedback tools that tell you to stop using sunglasses photos and actually write a bio. Plus "Suggest a Date" for when your chat dies (so always).
Why it matters: Dating apps embracing AI to help users be less terrible at dating. Spoiler: It won't work, but the stock will go up. (source)
π 60% of Teens Think Everyone's Cheating with AI (They're Right)
Pew study shows 60% of US teens believe AI cheating is widespread. Goes up to 75% among teens who actually use AI (aka all of them).
Why it matters: This generation is speedrunning the death of homework. Teachers still assigning essays like it's 2019 π (source)
π§ OpenAI Steals Meta's $200M Engineer After 7 Months
OpenAI poached Ruoming Pang from Meta after just seven months. This is the same guy Meta stole from Apple with a reported $200M+ package. Also hired Riley Walz (Jmail guy).
Why it matters: The AI talent wars are unhinged - people job-hopping faster than JavaScript frameworks. Company loyalty is dead, long live the bag π° (source)
Until Monday (unless the agents take over this weekend), The AI Snacks Team
P.S. If an AI agent offers to manage your calendar, remember it's literally designed to replace you. But yeah, give it your passwords, what could go wrong??
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